Mammy Guilt

Some days are harder than others. I often spend a day constantly barking at the kids!

"Don't do that", "don't hit your sister", "don't climb on that", "that's the last time I'm telling you".

Most of us are the same. These little people we created try us so much at times. And then it hits us. Takes hold, that feeling in your stomach.....god all I've done all day is tell them what they can't do or that they are bold. Its horrible. The mammy guilt.

Or the days when you have to get your house work done cos you've been in work all week and you don't have a cleaner or someone to do the laundry so you throw them into the garden or in front of the TV so you can get stuff done. And it hits you, the mammy guilt.

And you read all the Facebook meme's about how time with them is so precious and hold them a little longer, tell them you love them etc etc. And you have a moment and a tear the odd time. And it hits you. The mammy guilt. And it's crap.

I've said some cracking things to my kids and laughed and thought did I really just say "stop standing on your sisters head please" hahaha and you do you say things that you never thought you'd ever come out with.

Long gone are the days when you could sit and do your makeup or hair to perfection. I now share my makeup with a 3 and 1 year old. They insist on doing their makeup too. I let them because I know it's the only way I will get to do mine in somewhat of a peaceful way. Long gone are the days of immaculate makeup palettes some include baby snot and spit. But that's ok. I love them. But of course there are the times that pisses me off too. Because for once I'd like something that was actually just mine and not fecking communal. And that I could do my winged liner which is a pain in the backside anyway without two fecking monkeys swinging out of me whilst I do it. I mean I deserve a fricken medal for that right? And then you give out......and it hits you the mammy guilt.

And dont even get me started on the guilt when you drop them to creche. There they go your most prized possessions into the arms of women who will basically raise them and spend all the time with them that you can't because you're in poxy work!!! And then it hits....the mammy guilt.

And you see it's a vicious cycle the guilt. Because work is a sanctuary at times. You get to be by yourself, drinking hot tea, eating lunch with other civilised humans with knives and forks. Noone calling mama 65 million times in that precious 30 mins. Then the guilt hits you. You miss them.

You collect them, you hug them, you kiss them, you could eat them you love them so much. Then they start and you wish you were back in work 😂😂😂

My point is. You love them, they love you, unconditionally. You need to go to work, you need to clean the house......you need to eat and have a cup of tea. And we shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to have time to ourselves. Because those fucking meme's on the internet as lovely as they are......they aren't real life.....real life gets messy.....real life hurts.....real life feels all the feelings not just the cosy ones.

So yes there will be the mammy guilt......but the mammy love far out weighs the mammy guilt.....and there will always be the mammy love!!!!

Take time out to look after yourself and your mental health. And if that means ironing for an hour because the ironing is getting in on you. Then do it.

Happy mammy = happy kids.

Lots of love

Donna
Xxx